Three Maori And A Californian: A Heist Into My Own Van

With the sudden realization of what just happened, my heart sinks. Pressing my face to the van window like a child at the aquarium, I stare at the car keys just out of reach. In disbelief, I pat my pockets as if the keys would magically appear in my pocket.

Van Build

Luckily I'm at my friend Ruth's house in Auckland. However we are supposed to catch a ferry to Waiheke Island in a couple hours. Calling a locksmith, I'm told it will cost me $200 to call someone out. Determined to do it myself, I grab a couple items around the house to attempt a break in - a wire clothing hanger, a butcher's knife, and a bamboo pole.

Uncurling the hanger, I make a hook at one end and proceed to slide it into the door panel. Surgically moving the hook around, I fish for the door latch. No luck. Grabbing the butcher's knife, I slip it into the door jam and pry the corner open like someone shucking an oyster. Sliding the bamboo pole in, I aim for the electronic door lock.

Raglan Sunset

In the upscale suburb of Ponsonby where BMWs park on the curb, I wonder what the neighbors are thinking. How long will it be before an officer gets a call reporting a break in? A jogger runs by and slows down eyeing me suspiciously.

Getting frustrated the next door Maori neighbor named Jay sees me struggling. Coming over with a tool box, he looks at the van emblem and says to me, "A Toyota? What year is it?"

"1994," I tell him.

Taking the coat hanger out of my hands he tells me, "this should be pretty easy, older Toyotas are easy to break into."

Repeating the procedure I just did, he fishes around with the coat hanger with no luck.

"Hold on, let my grab my cuz in the house."

A few minutes later Jay returns with a big Maori guy named Kahi.  Kahi smiling from ear to ear wears a rugby jersey and could be a linebacker to an American football team. Bringing his own coat hanger, he unfurls it and begins fishing around the door panel expertly. I can tell Kahi has done this before. Catching something in the door panel, the door handle moves to our surprise. Jiggling the coat hanger around it slips loose and the elated and hopeful feeling disappears.

Kahi begins to explain to me how to pop out the rear window. Getting to work, I take a flat head screwdriver I begin removing the seal off the window.

Another Maori guy I've seen hang out on their deck who tends to be more elusive comes down with a key ring full of keys and begins trying all of the doors. Setting back to work, the van rocks back and forth on it's wheels as three Maori guys and a Californian attempt different break in methods to my van. Surely someone has called the police now.

With no luck, Kahi grabs a crow bar and begins prying open the driver door and small blue paint flakes begin to fall onto the ground from the pressure. Jay grabbing the bamboo pole begins sliding it towards the lock. With a hanger I guide the bamboo towards the electronic lock. Approaching the lock slowly like NASA docking a shuttle on the space station; as a team we successfully hit the lock. Hearing the doors unlatch we laugh and high five each other.

Trying to hand them fifty dollars for their time, they refuse to accept it and head back into their house. Asking them why they won't accept it, they tell me, "don't worry about it, you are the one traveling and needs to save their money."

Smiling and thanking them, I hope I can return the favor to someone else one day. Grabbing my keys I quickly finish packing and make it to the ferry just in time.

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